^ Like this, only a chick. ^
9.3.08: I was finally able to capture a still from the commercial. This picture is poor quality because I only had my cellphone handy, but I think the resemblance is undeniable.
Writing about this may be pointless, as I'm not sure if the commercial I'm about to discuss is nationwide or regional. Anyway, there is a new Dairy Queen commercial that I find disturbing. There is a woman - I guess she is supposed to be a teacher? - and she is reading a book about animals to a group of [overacting] kids. She opens a page with a picture of a dog and asks the kids, "The dog says..." and all of the children make dogs noises. She does the same with a cat and a cow. Then, she turns to a page with a picture of a turkey. When she asks "The turkey says...." the kids go crazy making lip-smacking and "mmmm" and "yummm" noises.
First of all, when I was that young, I'm not sure my mind made the connection that some cute, furry animals = food. At first, I was so turned off by this. Then, I changed my mind. I think it might be a good thing for kids to watch this. Maybe it will spawn some vegetarians or something, and everyone knows vegetarians are kind. More vegetarians = less wars. Secondly, if that commercial aired in a locale where dogs and cats were eaten [don't yell at me, it's a FACT, so shutty.], would they make the yummy noises for all the animals?
While I can write a great deal why the commercial is disgusting as it relates to animals, I am instead drawn to something just as awful. The scary, creepy-looking lady who stars in the commercial.
The first few times I watched it, I kept asking myself who this creepy lady resembled. It was making me crazy. Then, it came to me. She is the doppleganger of Paul "Shitbrick" Finch from American Pie!
I've searched the internet trying to find a link to the commercial but I can't find one. Searching for Dairy Queen commercials did provide some entertainment, as apparently almost all of their commercials have offended various sectors of people who like to write posts about how offended they are.
Since I can't link the commercial, I will just leave you with a picture of "Shitbrick." I swear I am going to keep my camera near me at all times so I can grab a picture of Shitbrick's Dairy Queen Doppleganger.
Dear Gas Station Dude,
When I asked for $10 worth of gas and gave you a $20 bill, I did not anticipate you would give me a $5 bill, then LICK YOUR FUCKING FINGERS and touch five singles before placing them in my hand. Sure, I am extra cautious since my immune system has been shut off BUT SERIOUSLY? DID YOU HAVE TO LICK YOUR FINGER AFTER YOU PEELED OFF EACH BILL FROM THE WAD??????
Not only do I fear for my health, but do you even comprehend just how many fucking cooties you put in your mouth? Oh no, wait - they didn't last long in your mouth because they probably hopped right onto the next DOLLAR BILL YOU TOUCHED AND HANDED ME.
Just because you call me "Sweetie" does not mean you can lick my money, okay? And if you want to get technical and say you didn't actually lick my money, but rather, you licked your finger and then touched my money, I am not going to listen to you.
Your fingers + your tongue + my money = YOU LICKED MY FUCKING MONEY
Sincerely,
"Sweetie"
I was looking through some old pictures and found ones that I took on the very first day Winnie came to live here. So adorable. While she is still completely adorable, she is now also part monster.
Argh! Today has been very stressful. The dogger was snoozing on the couch, as is her way. I went to take a shower, came out of the shower and in the time I was in the shower, she somehow hurt her right front paw. She was a lunatic, chewing at it until it was raw. She wouldn't let me look at it, much less touch it. She was chewing it so badly, it was beginning to bleed. So naturally, I went into freak mode. If there is one thing I hate, it's when I can't help the dogger [or any animal, for that matter]. It drives me bananas to see animals suffering, even in the simplest way. I called the vet and forced them to give me an appointment this afternoon, even though they didn't have any openings. And now, an hour after it all began, the dogger is snoozing comfortably, farting and snoring away. I think whatever was stuck in her paw came out, so I cancelled the vet since they were squeezing her in. [side note: this ordeal makes me wonder how animals in "the wild" - such as wolves and coyotes and tigers - handle situations when they have something stuck in their paws. I mean, they don't have a Sherri chasing them around with paper towels and Benedryl Spray, so what the fuck do they do? I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.]
More randomness: I feel I am letting myself down. I was doing so well with the TOTM pilot and really liked where I was going with it. Then I sputtered. That sputter turned into a stall. The stall became a full-stop. I am a little confused where to take it next and I definitely need more. The worst part is that as I take time to think about where to take the pilot next, I start rethinking what's already written. That isn't good because I will pick it apart until there isn't anything left. I need to focus. I wish I had a writing partner. Then again, I am not good at compromising. So, I should say: I wish I had a writing partner that would just not be very vocal. Ha!
On the music front: The Verve's latest effort, Forth, is awesome. I love it. If you visit their MySpace profile, you can hear a full-album stream. I suggest you do that.
