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My Nephew JC is going to be thirteen in March. Due to several disabilities on the Autism Spectrum, Nephew JC struggles in many areas: socially, academically and also with decision making. He cannot tolerate loud noises, gets distracted very easily, has difficulty with cumulative learning and doesn't understand the ebb and flow of conversation. Because of these disabilities, his Mom [Sis-in-law TC] has sheltered him quite a bit. It is only this year that he is starting to experience things [going to school dances, having his first crush] kids his age have already begun to explore.
Nephew JC entered seventh grade and that meant switching to a new school this year. Change is very difficult for him to accept -especially going to a new school, but thankfully, he was in a Summer program at his new school so he learned his way around prior to classes beginning this past September. Also, because of entering into the new school, he now comes home and stays alone for 1/2 an hour before his Mom gets home from her teaching job. This was a big deal and Sis-in-law TC was very concerned about him being alone for that 1/2 hour. To help ease her mind, it was agreed that at the end of the Summer, Nephew JC would be allowed a cell phone. Now, while kids aged 6 have cells these days, Sis-in-law TC is very old skool. She monitors what Nephew JC and his sister [Niece KC] are allowed to watch on TV, how much video game time they are allowed, etc. While I believe setting limits [and goals] are important, I also think she goes overboard in many ways. [When kids in school learn that Nephew JC still watches SpongeBob, I fear for his life.]
And so, at the end of the Summer, Nephew JC was given his very first cell phone. This led to very random text messages to all of his Aunts and Uncles. These texts included riddles and jokes. [I'd like the record to show that I, Aunt Sherri, am always able to answer these riddles, which mystifies Nephew JC. In fact, it angers him when he stumps everyone else and then I text back a correct answer. I fear the day he puts it all together and realizes that I scramble to the computer and look up the answers.] So, you can imagine my surprise when recently, I received this text from Nephew JC:
This text message excited me because of what it wasn't : What do you call a banana with a zipper? [a fruit fly!], What do moths study in school? [Mothematics!] Is this question via text indicative of Nephew JC's maturation?! Is Nephew JC sitting in his room, pondering ...things ?! I wanted to answer his text carefully. Maybe he asked this question because he is truly thinking deeply about how he handles situations and is looking to his smart-and-always-knows-the-answers-to-riddles-and-jokes Aunt Sherri for some guidance! And so, I said [truthfully], "A little of both. Why?" I never received a response, which is also typical of Nephew JC.
And so, this past Thursday on Thanksgiving, Sis-in-law TC brought up a conversation about Nephew JC and how interesting it is that when kids meet for the first time, they immediately exchange phone numbers and start texting each other. I said to Sis-in-law TC, "Yes, but something deeper is going on here! He sent me a text asking if in my personal life, I like to plan things or if I rather just go with the flow! I think he is maturing and thinking on a deeper level now!"
Sis-in-law TC replied, "Oh. That. Yeah, he was playing the Wii and there is a 'channel' where they ask poll questions. That was one of the questions. He created extra Wii Miis for everyone in the family and answers the questions with everyone's responses to his texts."
Oh.
When I turned on my phone this morning I received this text from Nephew JC:
At least now I know he honestly doesn't give a shit if I am contemplating the past or dreaming of a bright, sparkly future. He's just staring at a video game and needs a fast answer.
Everyone judges everyone else. If you claim that you don't, you're lying. Whether you judge someone by the car they drive, the clothes they wear, or the company they keep - you have definitely done it at some point in your life. Also, whether you want to believe it or not, you've been on the receiving end of being judged.
I'm here to admit that I judge people. I have my own unique way of fitting people into the niche I think they belong in. Some examples:
If I see a chick who has reddish-brown hair that is all one length, I am certain she probably walked around her elementary school/junior high/high school carrying a Trapper Keeper notebook that featured horses running on front. This girl probably loved horses and maybe even took riding lessons at some point in her young adult life. She also most likely has, or once had, a cat named Cinnamon.
If I see an elderly woman wearing an acrylic sweater that has a diamond pattern, I am almost positive she has upwards of 3 cats and feeds them cat food from a tin, not the kibble kind. Her winter coat is most likely covered in cat hair, which everyone notices... except her. The people she works with, at a telemarketing place, quietly argue among themselves over who has to hang their coat next to hers in the coat room. This woman most likely had one of those fake tails hanging from her trunk. You know, the one that made it look as though you closed your cat in your trunk, with only its tail exposed.
If I see an elderly man who is wearing grey pants and smoking a cigar, I am almost positive that every time he takes a leak, he walks away with small droplets of pee staining his pants. When people talk to him, they notice the pee droplets but are too embarrassed for him to say anything.
If I see a house with fake, plastic flowers out by the mailbox, I know it's safe to assume the woman of the house, a lady in her mid-60s who perpetually wears a worn, faded flowered "housecoat," spends hundreds of dollars per month on items she bought off TV on QVC or the Home Shopping Network. UPS delivers several packages a day to her house and she never recycles they cardboard boxes those packages come in.
If I see a woman driving and oversized SUV while sipping from a cup of overpriced Starbucks coffee, I assume she is a typical Soccer/Hockey/Football/Cheerleader Mom. She has kids, all of whom are active in sports, as is evident by the stickers all over the back of her car, which feature megaphones with her daughter's name, soccer balls/footballs/basketballs with her son's name. This woman complains about everything in her life - from the nanny to her friends to her husband, having long ago lost sight of the privileged life she is leading. She talks on her cell phone in doctors offices, banks and hair salons. She drives as though she is the only person on the road and usually parks her SUV crookedly, taking up at least two parking spaces. She works out daily not to remain healthy, but for fear that her husband will leave her for the nanny, cleaning woman, or one of her prettier friends.
And the easiest one of all: If I see a house that has had a filthy, bed bug infested mattress out front for over 4 weeks, I know the family living inside is dirty, filthy, disgusting, bed bug infested pigs who is hated by the entire neighborhood.
I'm going to end this by telling you there isn't anything wrong with fitting into any of these stereotypes - well, except for the last one. This is just how I see people.
