I Wonder What Keeps Us So High Up.

By Sherri on Friday, February 27, 2009
Filled Under: do-gooder, life
I think that now, more than ever, everyone is much more conscious of the efforts we need to make in order to do our part in preserving the environment. I know that I am more conscious of the water I waste and have adjusted simple things, like not letting the water run while I brush my teeth. That doesn't seem like much, but if everyone were to shut the water off while brushing, the water we would conserve would be of huge amounts. Envirosax PouchWhen J and I go grocery shopping, we always used to recycle the plastic bags, as our grocery store has a huge bin for you to put them in on your return trips. While that helps, it bothered us that we were even still using plastic bags. So naturally, the route we chose was to buy bags that we can use over and over again. I purchased 2 pouches of Envirosax so we could always be sure to have enough of them [there are 5 bags in each pouch]. I cannot say enough great things about them: they are easily twice the size of the standard plastic bag you're given at grocery stores, they are slightly stretchy so you can fit tons of stuff in them, they come in convenient pouches and they are sturdy as hell. We can easily fit two 1/2 gallons of soy milk and several bottles of seltzer in one of them. They also come in some super cool [read: manly] designs so dudes won't feel too flamboyant when carrying them. In fact, I think J rather enjoyed the camouflage one and I'm going to keep my eye on him to make sure he doesn't start using it as a "murse."  Anyway, when our Envirosax came, the company also gave us a free shower timer. Did you know we were only supposed to take 4-minute showers? The timer is an hourglass [or rather, a 4-minute glass] filled with colored sand -ours is pink. It has a suction cup so you can stick it on your shower wall. Now, I'm all for conserving water and a 4-minute shower sounds great- if you are a guy... who happens to be bald. Realistically, 4 minutes doesn't work for me. Okay sure, I could probably manage 4 minutes if I skip washing my hair. But I don't skip washing my hair. [the chick that cuts my hair yells at me and says you should only wash your hair 3 times per week. I don't buy that.] 4-Minute Shower TimerThis morning, I decided to put the timer to the test. I wanted to see how long it would take me to wash myself as I normally would, shave my legs and pits, and wash my hair. [I didn't use conditioner today] I did all of this with the utmost speed and managed to do those things in about 6 1/2 minutes. [Since I'm not Rain Man and can't count granules of sand by sight, this is a guess.] While 4 minutes doesn't quite work for me, I'm happy the timer has made me more conscious. I could definitely do 4 minutes if I skip shaving my legs and pits. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure J. would rather I use 2 1/2 extra minutes of water rather than have people think his better half is a Yeti.

That's How I Roll.

By Sherri on Friday, February 20, 2009
Filled Under: i'm just sayin'..., life
When I was about 5 years old, I asked the 5 year old boy who lived across the street from me, to pull down his pants and pee on the side of his house. Not in the grass, but actually on the house. He pulled down is pants and did so. Not only was I completely amazed that his pee took on the shape of Frankenstein [which dumbfounded me] but it was at that moment that I realized just how different boys and girls are physically. [peeshie vs. uthie] It wasn't until this past week I realized just how different we truly are mentally. J and I rarely splurge on things. I own hoodies that are probably older than some of you reading this.  Our mantra is "do we want this" or "do we need this" and that has helped us greatly, especially in the last year, with the worsening economy and the never-ending amount of medical bills that are insurance doesn't cover. And so, with our lovely tax refund, I suggested a limited, minor amount for each of us to splurge on whatever we wanted. I believe it took J about 3 minutes, enough time to put clothes on and grab his keys, and he was out spending his dough. He came home with a bag full of video games for his Xbox 360. I had no clue what to do with my money. There isn't anything I want. There is, however, stuff I need - and so I went shopping for some new clothes: hoodies, tank tops and a few tops. Unfortunately, I hate shopping and didn't try anything on. I have a habit of buying clothes that are too big for me and so my entire purchase went back to the store the next day. Two days after J made his purchases, he informs me he could use some new jeans. His are starting to wear-and-tear from work. And then it hit me- he used his splurge money on things he wanted and was STILL going to get what he needed. NOT FAIR. We may roll our eyes when they leave random hairs on the sink after shaving, we might not understand why grown men still feel the need to sit in front of a video game and curse at it for hours on end, we might not understand why men don't cry when they see a commercial for St. Judes Childrens Hospital, nor might we not understand why they don't think their farts smell "that badly" -  but the one thing we must give  them credit for: they know how to splurge. And still get the new jeans.  

Dear Internet, I'm Tired. Love, Me.

By Sherri on Thursday, February 12, 2009
Filled Under: rant
Friends, I'm tired. Very tired. Exhausted, in fact. The funny thing is that I'm not tired because I live every day with a fairly debilitating illness. I'm not tired because I clean like a fiend, nor am I tired from constantly having to remind the Revolt writers to bold band names in their reviews. [although that last one is wearing on my nerves and it's probably a good thing I don't own a gun] I am tired from the internet. I am so tired of keeping up on Facebook, answering and asking the same questions a million times. I'm tired of constantly clicking "ignore" to every app or retarded quiz that is sent my way. I'm tired of trying to think up witty status updates and I'm tired of reading your status updates, witty and non-witty, tired of trying to think up witty and fun comments to your blogs and even more tired when I don't receive a reply to my comment on your blog. I'm tired of reading your Papyrus-font words on your blog. [it is by far the WORST choice for blog font] I am tired of keeping up with emails [this one is tricky because I am OCD in the sense that when someone emails me, I feel the need to reply immediately, only to never hear back for weeks or months at a time. So, you're off the hook for that one.] I am tired from actually hoping something weird happens with my neighbors so I'll have something to write about. I'm tired because weird things happen but I know they won't transition well to blog fodder. [example: the other night, J. was joking around and pretending he was going to punch me. He had his "dukes" raised but left the center wide-open and I casually "booped" him in the mouth with my fist. It was hysterical to us but wouldn't be funny enough for anyone else.] I am tired of realizing that when I don't check Twitter for the day, that I've missed tons of pictures from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. I am tired of McAfee Security doing updates every night around 7pm and causing my computer to freeze while I am in the midst of writing. I am tired of PR firms sending me messages via LinkedIn asking if I want to interview a female wrestler who is now in a band, only to then also send it to my email when I don't reply to the LinkedIn message. I am tired of PR firms sending me emails in which the subject line is written in all CAPS. I am tired of promoting Revolt on my own. I am tired of realizing a band picture I have is now outdated AGAIN because they kicked their 1,284th member out of the band. I am tired from deleting "Doctor List" SPAM. I am tired because even though I don't blog there, I feel the need to still read my friends' Livejournals. I am tired of bands using Revolt's Myspace to plug their SHITTY, SHITTY music and filling the comment section with things like: "HEY COME CHECK OUT OUR NEW SONG!!11!!" I'm tired of Wordpress Spell Checker not recognizing the words "cool" and "with" making the last "ol" and "th" in red as if I've done something wrong. THEY ARE WORDS. Dear Internet, I am tired.

You Took A Trip & Climbed A Tree

By Sherri on Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Filled Under: rant
I've mentioned a few times that I love to read. A lot. My reading habit got to the point where I found it silly to spend so much money on books when the beautiful library, in which my tax dollars helped with a $2.2 million facelift/renovation, is a short drive away. And so, we put our library cards to fantastic use in this house. Each trip to the library, I typically take out anywhere from 5-8 books, most of which are chosen by the prettiness of the design on its spine and/or cover. I know. My standards amaze me too. I can't help it. If a book has an uninteresting cover, I just can't be bothered. Therefore, I have often come home with the same pretty, swirly, cutesy covered books on multiple occasions. [note: if I do bring home a book I've already read, I read it again. It's a sickness.] Anyway, a while ago, our library was "proud" to go online. You can now hold books, look up books, renew books and well, do most things book-related... online.  I often take advantage of renewing online - it's wonderful.  This how library trips go: When you go to the library, you just lay your books down at the Return desk and walk away. At least, that's what we do. And then you go check out more books. We are movers and shakers so we always use the Self Check Out computer-scanner-thingy. [I realize calling it a "thingy" puts into question my "movers and shakers" phrase but trust me, we are. I Twitter for fuck's sake.] And so, by placing our books down at the Return desk and walking away, and then going to Self Check Out, we never actually interact with any library people. So, our last trip to the library a couple of weeks ago ended with surprise. When going through Self Check Out, it allowed us to scan everything except for my very last book. It kept making a loud BONK sound and simply wouldn't accept the barcode in the back of the book. Scan, BONK. Scan, BONK. Scan, BONK. This went on until J. said, "Do you really need that book? You have 650 others in your hand." And so, we left. Most items are due back within three weeks, however "newer" items are due within two weeks. And so, I logged into my trusty library account online to renew those few items that were due before everything else. I was alerted [by a big flashing red animated .gif] that we had "several" overdue books and that was why when checking out, we were only allowed to take a specific amount of items and it started BONKING that last book. I was annoyed. "Overdue? Us? Never! I use our trusty online renewal system all the time. I click renew and it says, 'Renewed' and I go about my merry book-reading way!" Well, apparently our fancy new library, with its fancy 2.2 million fucking dollar facelift hasn't worked out the kinks in the online renewing system. We ended up having many, many books "overdue" as it apparently didn't renew ANY of our books from the past several trips and we now owe a little over $19. [note: our late fees are .10 cents per day, so as you can see, it's lots of books that have been way overdue for a long time EVEN THOUGH THE COMPUTER SAID I RENEWED LIKE A PROPER LIBRARY USER] So now, I'm totally embarrassed to go to the library. I'm expecting to walk in and see Wanted Posters with mine and J's faces on them. It's a good thing I happened to check out our account online or I'd eventually have to take out a Home Equity Loan to pay our fines.   Lesson learned: 2.2 million dollar facelift does not = functioning website