Rope-A-Dope.

Filed in life , rant 0 comments

A while back, when this blog had a different name, I wrote about my experiences with Comcast. I’m here to let you know that Comcast still sucks only now I am free of their suckage.

Back in July, there was a knock on my front door. I answered it and found a nice, young man wearing a red shirt and flat-front khakis. He also had a laminate around his neck as though he was backstage at a concert… only a concert for geeks who wear red shirts, flat-front khakis and laminates around their neck while trolling neighborhoods.

This gentleman was at my door to inform me that Verizon Fios is now available in my neighborhood and he could sign me up for it. Since I had already shot a BB gun at some Jehovah’s Witnesses that week, and since I don’t trust men wearing laminates around their neck during daylight hours, I politely told Mr. Flat-Front Khakis that I would read up about Fios vs. Cable online. I might not trust dudes with clipboards and laminates, but how can I not trust the Internet? We all know it’s a giant truth machine spewing legitimate and accurate knowledge.

And so I read up about Fios. I was nervous. Could we make the switch without a disaster happening? I consulted with J and he was nervous too. I consulted with my Dad about switching. He wasn’t nervous but thought it was weird that we were nervous. Making the switch to phone, computer, TV Fios was a bigger decision than buying this house. We mulled it over. We weighed the pros and cons, but frankly, we didn’t know what we’d end up with. What if it sucked? What if the computer kept going down? WHAT IF I COULDN’T PLAY BEJEWELED BLITZ ON FACEBOOK????

All I knew is that for signing a one year contract with Verizon Fios, we would be saving over $120 per month. AND they guarantee that price for 2 years, which is basically unheard of. On top of that, after 60 days of Fios, we’d get a coupon for a $299 HP Netbook. We made the plunge.

After they came and hooked us up and everything was working and running smoothly [which is a four hour process], I called Comcast and canceled our cable TV and internet. The girl who took my call constantly popped and cracked her gum while talking to me and wanted to know why I was canceling. I was honest. “Because I’m saving A LOT of money switching to Fios.” Her voice took on an irritated tone and she asked if I knew about Comcast’s Tripe Play package. Quite frankly, if Comcast wants to keep their customers, they really shouldn’t wait until those customers have set up another service and are canceling theirs to offer any deals. [Hey Comcast, why didn't you send me a little note with one of my bills saying, 'Sherri, you're such a great customer, we're going to just switch you to our Triple Play package and save you some bucks!']

I informed Gum Cracker that I know of their package and that after three months, their price goes up. She said in a super frosty voice, “Fine. [pop, snap, crackle, snap] I’ll cancel everything.” From the tone in her voice, you’d swear I just left her at the alter or told her that her ass looked big in the pants she probably had on.

So, on July 17th, we returned our cable boxes from our TVs and our cable modem and our Comcast was canceled. Or so I thought. Yesterday, I received a bill for service from August 20th to September 21st for $168. [you pay a month ahead] So when I called Comcast to simply say WHAT THE FUCK, they got nasty with me again.

Comcast: “Well, the service needs to be turned off at the pole.”
Me: “Well, I sure as fuck am not climbing that pole, so why didn’t you send someone to do it, say, WHEN I CALLED TO CANCEL MY SERVICE OVER ONE MONTH AGO?”

Naturally, I’m not responsible for the bill. In fact, it turns out I have a $172 credit coming my way that no one processed. Maybe the first person I spoke to when I canceled was too busy shoving a pack of gum in her mouth to actually process my cancellation. And while I’m still not 100% crazy about Verizon Fios’ OnDemand features, I will definitely put up with it to have the same channels, save almost $130 per month, have a computer that is 8xs faster than cable AND get a free mini-computer.

Lesson learned:
Dude + red shirt + khakis + laminate > incompetent + gum popping +Comcast bitch

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Posted by Sherri   @   22 August 2009 0 comments
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